Want to Mate, Men and Women? Be Confident for a Change!

I stumbled across a flirting, date "tip". This was phrased as a tip and it was about self-touch. It detailed that if a woman is interested in a man, she will touch her chest, leg.

I know (because I've dated women and we've discussed how they don't subscribe to that) that some women do not touch themselves ad a part of their body and then expect a man to obsequiously sidle up to her because of HER romantic interest. And as a male, I personally don't subscribe to that either. Why? Because the times that I observe with my fairly advanced body-language observation skills that a woman is doing some peculiar array of gestures and contortions that she is convinced is supposed to "express her romantic interest" (when in fact walking up to me and saying "I'm romanticlaly interested in you, want to chat?" would be the most phenomenal turn-on possible!) I was repulsed with how little confidence such a person has.

I guess my question is, doesn't that seem awfully reflective of the woman not having confidence? What's stopping the woman from boldly going up to a man that she's interested in and introducing herself? Why must she do this bizarre courtship ritual where SHE touches her self because SHE is interested in a man and instead of acting on HER romantic interest, she feels imprisoned in a set of cultural customs to passively "lure" her sycophantic romantic "prey" over to her? What percentage of women subscribe to such nonsense? I have absolute certainty that it's no 100% because I've met women who laugh at those tactics. What's frightening is that I think the percentage is quite high. In many ways, doesn't this passive, low confidence, indirect role that such a high percentage of women play ultimately condemn their outspokenness, their directness, their assertiveness in the relaitonship?

As homo sapiens were consciously are endowed with teh capacity to NOT resort to bizarre ritualistic courtship mating drills like the ones birds resort to that involve a flashing of colorful feathers and an exotic dance. As humans, we have the capacity to see the inherent ridiculousness in and the confining ramifications of courtship "drills" and even gender roles. And with our consciousness, we can live more full and complete and more importantly, more direct with our emotions in a way that relinquishes us from "moratorium of hte unknown".

"Club-winged Manakins, Machaeropterus deliciosus, reveal that males produce sustained harmonic tones through interactions among oscillating secondary wing feathers" in a courtship ritual. As conscious primates, we have the capacity to choose to NOT display a certain tone and oscillate our arms to convey affection, interest, or attraction. Instead, we have the capacity as humans to walk up to a member of the opposite sex and simply say with words the Nature of our interest in them! Don't you think it's time we've evolved? That it's time to relinquish antiquated courtship rituals that are literally inherent to a more primitive generation?

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Doesn't that seem so unnecessarily confusing? I've seen women doing this and truly, honeslty, I thought to myself "that woman has an itch on her chest OR she's indirectly in a very muddled manner trying to get my attention because she's romantically interested in me.

I'm not a taxi driver! If woman touches her self romantically with the intention of "hailing me over for courtship", I don't stop and say "where do you want to go?" Because (to continue the metaphor) if she's failing to be direct, why should I -- HOW could I -- possibly be direct in my response to HER romantic interest?

Both woman and men need to take more confident ownership of their romantic interests.

Wait, do a lot of women SERIOUSLY suffer from the same low-confidence problems as men? Men do the Mystery Method etc PUA workshops because their confidence is low. I can see no different between That type of low confidence and the type of low confidence that causes a woman to passively touch a part of her body instead of having the confidence to approach a man with something are identical!

For me, personally, if I'm interested in a woman, I'll tell her. Or i'll directly ask what she seeks in a relationship (romance, friendship, merely chatting). I've just wasted too many years of my life stuck in the moratorium of the unknown because myself and the woman Both lacked hte confidence to address what kind of relationship was present.

So let's use this as an awakening to just boldly and confidently take ownership of our romantic interests. Why not? We have the capacity to do that as humans, right?!

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It's literally disgusting to me that people believe this rubbish. Utter, rubberish. This is preposterous! "Women are more in touch with feelings"? Please! Plenty of sensitive men out there that beg to differ. Men are better at 3-d perceptibility? Please, I'm sure there's some brilliant spatial designers that are female. ALL of these differences between men and women SIMPLY are the result of LOW confidence. Insecure males and insecure females flee and flock to the "Well, Thta'ts why he doesn't understand....our brains our different!" or the "Well, that's why she didn't communicate well...our brains are different" and then burrow themselves further into ignorance. Believing that men and female minds are different is -- it truly is -- a form of self-ridicule! It's ridiculing your own capacity to think as a human being by convincing yourself of the delusion that men and women are cognitively different. We're both the same species, we both have a need for sustanence, procreation, and shelter. Our brains cognitively function the exact same way. The "content" of what's in our brains and our personality and cultural background and personal perceptiosn of the world are undoubtedly different because there's so many different personalities and belief structures!! But to say that because one person has an XY chromosome and an other has an XX producing different reproductive systems, is in someway linked to the cognitive differences of the mind is truly and utterly preposterous! It's preposterous! Men and women have the same mind - a human mind!

It's truly foul and disgusting studies like these that perpetuate inequality in genders. These "false delusory trivias" are merely for the unconfident person to have ammunition in their ignorance and lack of confidence in dating in the first place!

Have you ever considered that there could be two reasons for a man or woman who have a romantic interest in each other to not date: 1) they're both too shy, timid, meek, and unconfident (this is about 95% of the reason why most of the time) or 2)they're both disgusted with how truly PUERILE the gender games have become!

Approach Walk-Ups, Three Types, General Tips, Step Backs, Imlied Compliments

Homework
3-4 days per week
week one: observation-comment-question
week two: put-on
week three: blurt-out-sincerity
week four: mix

Three Types of Openers

Observation-Comment-Question Opener

Simple, make an internal observation.

"I noticed you standing there..."

"XYZ Question"

Put-On Opener
Approach with a goofy, funny humorous opener.

Accomplishes:
Relieves tension
Shows I'm humorous
Reveals to her that my world is fun.

Blurt-Out Sincerity (optionally w/Genuine Intuition) Opener Quotes

Criteria for Blurt-Out
CANNOT be sexual
BEST if true.

Accomplishes:
Shows I'm assertive and reveals that I share what I think and that I am genuine!.

Examples
"I was sitting here and I was thinking if I didn't go talk to her, I'd kick myself for a week."
Hints:
MUST be delivered with fear NOR neeed.
After delivering it, step back and just accept and observer her response.

Genuine Intuition
How to Do it:
Use Genuine Intuition (speaking from belly-button).
Comes from reading 100s of thousands of people and knowing things.

How to Apply It:
Speak From your bellybutton.


Approach -- Every Flavor of Opener

Pre-Opener

Screen
Simply approach fun, playful, open, attractive women.

Never take First Response Written In stone.

Because her first response is NOT about ME; it's about what she's thinking at that time, forget her first response.

The conversation starts at the second response. If her second response is negative.

Extra-Long Handshake

Look in her and hold the handshake just for a second longer.

Always precedes "After Opener, Step Back".

Accomplishes:
Shows dominance and directness and reminds her that I am a masculine male and not a girlfriend of hers with a penis.

After Opener, Take Step Back

Whether the response is positive, neutral, or negative, Always take a step back.

Accomplishes:
Provides safety after the extra-long handshake
Shows her I am not confrontational.
Gives her her space.
Shows I am respectful to her and provides her with control.
Gives me indicators of her being "live wire" of an interest and an investment in the conversation.


Callibrate her Level of Comfort

Accomplishes:
Let's me see how long and how far I need to retreat during the "step back".
Provides you with

Never have direct squared-up confrontation for first Opener

Always have angled conversation, in addition to taking a step back.

Accomplishes:
Shows her I am not confrontational.

Approach -- Intermittent Tricks

Strategic Pause
This one is ALL about a pregnant randomly-interspersed pause. It creates response potential. Additionally the Strategic pause shows that you aren't in a hurry. Two objectives are accomplished with the pregnant pause.

1. Generates Response Potential
2. Reveals that I am not in a hurry and Conversationally available

Compassion and Clarity is Extremely Attractive

***Implied Compliment****
Why this works:
Even very attractive women have negative feelings about themselves. If you say a direct compliment "You're beautiful", she'll perceive it in her left brain, process it and negate it. If you have an implied compliment, her RIGHT brain will interpret it and it'll be easier for her to perceive the compliment. Implied compliment:

Example:"I don't have control over this tendency of mine. If I see an absolutely clear -- like lucid-looking person, like uniquely clear, I have to atleast say "hi" to them. So I knew I'd be kicking myself for a week if I didn't talk to you!"

(That's an implied compliment combined with blurt-out).

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Jeffries Notes
his material is superior to mystery's material.
His material is more genuine and treats women better and will generate better results.
Jeffries is hardshell and then soft inner. that's GOOD. BEST is rough outside, good inside.
For presentations.
jeffries is genuien and HAS the material
Mystery just copied it. lmao. not cool.

Declining Invitations Gracefully

Staying On Top of the Game: Declining Invitations Gracefully

Treat every invitation as a mere compliment and that way declining the invitation is a lot easier to do!! When someone invites you to a group, a party, an event, or to be a member that's a MASSIVE compliment!! They're saying "hey, we like you, we can tell you're a good person, we want to interact with you more often or on a regular basis". So often very nice and grateful people find it difficult to decline invitations they can't accept for fear of it looking like a sock in the gut in the face of "great praise of an invitation". Therefore, merely treat each invitation as a simple huge compliment to which you say "Thanks!!" and act incredibly grateful toward the compliment aspect of the invitation!! But most importantly do that AFTER you decline. How you end is emphasized when communicating so end with the praise, on the upbeat. So immediately say "Oh I'd love to, but I can't. But you guys are soo awesome wow!! Fun times for sure!! Jeez great group of people!" So you get it clear that you decline the invitation but then you smother that declination with praise and herald and more gratitude again, so the part about you that people like -- the grateful, appreciative, respectful, loving part -- stays on even keel, stays emergent, stays in the game.

Why is the skill of declining an invitation so vital to remaining positve, focused, clear, and ontrack with your own goals?? Possessing the skill to effectively and gracefully decline inclinations is essential to achievement.

No Advice Please!

In my years I’ve given and received a lot of advice. Sometimes I’ve lucidly expressed and shared wisdom or my own or received brilliant tokens of wise suggestions from others. However, not until recently did I start to scrutinize the Value (or lack-thereof) of the advice I received from others. Upon this scrutiny, I quickly realized that some advice is not so valuable and is possibly dangerous!. We all are told to “listen to our elders” and heed advice carefully, but we’re rarely told to watch out for advice!

I have and express gratitude and massive appreciation for most advice from people. A portion of the advice I’ve accumulated in life has brought me to where I live and thrive today, coalescing together an exciting profession with web design, life-coaching, and acting-performance. Additionally a lot of my health and friendships thrived or endured because of great advice from others. However, you may discover, at times, that not listening to others’ advice, holding true to your inner voice, and galvanizing trust in your own actions, can an activate just as much (or more) clarity and confident initiative than following the advice of others!

Here’s my Two cents on why to not accept advice from others as a turn of the tables.

Whether you’re requesting advice on an essay to write, a problem to solve, how to approach it, putting your intention on someone else’s advice or your own has it’s place and time. Here’s 5 great reason why should occasionally avoid the advice of others and how such a practice could benefit you greatly. (I am aware that “not taking advice” is a form of advice!).

Not listening to advice can often increase your Intuitive voice, professionalism, listening and acoustic skills, inner alignment, and conversational selectivity!

--Intuitive. Receiving advice is counter-intuitive to a giving person’s mission and interest in life.  I've written 5 books and have done a tremendous amount of accomplishments that manufacture an uplifting and colorfully effective set of insights to give to people. While receiving insights from others is great, my entire personality, motive, and desire revolves around giving not receiving advice! Do you have a similar “giving first, receiving mindset”? If so, getting advice from others could be counter-intuitive and thus counter-productive to your core values. Not listening to your core values causes your relationships and career success to suffer. It’s best to listen to your own inner message!

--Professionalism. You'll feel more professional listening to your own advice.  Clear and simple.  If someone is constantly giving you advice, it's easy to feel belittled, depressed, or always the passive role of a watcher, learner, or receiver instead of an actor, teacher, or giver..  I'm interested in sharing and helping, not necessarily with "advice" which can be frequently unhelpful from certain people on certain topics, but by eliciting one’s own professionalism and core values.

--Acoustics. You'll listen more intently and comprehensively if you ease off and take a break from requesting advice from others!  I don’t know about your brain, but when I want to be giving advice instead of receiving it, my brain blocks out advice upon hearing it, when you aren’t thinking “I really want to hear what this guy has to say”.  Frequently our mind gets frustrated upon hearing someone else’s opinion being shoved at you. This is not ego, but just your own inner voice trying to have a presence. Led your inner wisdom speak and guide you to your career dreams! The less advice you hear, the more open you’ll be to listening to what non-advice things people have to say! You’ll pay attention more because you won’t be putting up “auditory walls” to what you hear, knowing that the messages others have to say are not advice, but a friendly discussion!

--Alignment. You run the risk of deviating from your own path when you listen to others’ advice.  Others' advice may be great but there's no guarantee that you'll stay true to your own path, maintain your moral and value integrity, and just continue towards what you're heading.  Others advice should acknowledged advice given with a "Thanks" and gratitude, but almost always quickly discard the external advice in one ear and out the other without a thought about it, to ensure you stay true to your path and goals.  Here’s a simple example: a bicyclist tells you to bike more to get in shape, but you're a surfer.  Listening to that advice would derail you from something that provides fulfillment in your life. Or another one: A professional counselor tells you to go to sleep earlier to get out of feeling down in the dumps, but your friend reminded you that when you stay up and talk with people, you frequently feel refreshed and energized the next day! In such a case, listening to the counselor would have derailed you from your life path, but your own inner voice, or your friends suggestion would have brought the most effective results! You risk eclipsing your idenity when you listen to advice given by those far removed from your path. Listen to your own advice and advice closely aligned with your own life path.

--Be selective. Are their any topics that you absolutely will not hear advice on? What are some topics that you absolutely are not open to hearing advice on? Maybe you consider yourself an expert on the topic, or maybe you simply have heard the bulk of the advice that people have to say and hearing “new advice” is just having old trite hackneyed utterances shoved back at you. This depends on the person, but what are some advice topics that definitely do not resonate with you? These could range from romantic relationships, to professional topics, to appearance topics, to scheduling advice topics, and more.

Conclusively, be wary of those who dump their own opinions, views, and perspectives on you in the form of advice! The best advice someone could ever give you is to listen to your own advice! When someone utilizes advanced questioning and elicits your core values and enables you to provide yourself with the advice you need, that’s the best type of advice you could ever receive!

If you want to experience an increase your Intuitive voice, a new-found professionalism, enhanced capacity, inner alignment, greater choice in conversations, maybe should ease up on the advice of others!

I encourage you to look for friends or wise souls who offer this ability of creating your own “intrinsic advice library” through advanced neuro-linguistic questioning! If you can’t find anyone with that skill amongst your peers, feel free to call Validate Your Life coaching at 773.991.6391 or validatelife@gmail.com and set-up a free appointment to elicit the best advice for you -- your own wisdom! http://www.validatelife.com.