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5.25.2008

No Advice Please!

In my years I’ve given and received a lot of advice. Sometimes I’ve lucidly expressed and shared wisdom or my own or received brilliant tokens of wise suggestions from others. However, not until recently did I start to scrutinize the Value (or lack-thereof) of the advice I received from others. Upon this scrutiny, I quickly realized that some advice is not so valuable and is possibly dangerous!. We all are told to “listen to our elders” and heed advice carefully, but we’re rarely told to watch out for advice!

I have and express gratitude and massive appreciation for most advice from people. A portion of the advice I’ve accumulated in life has brought me to where I live and thrive today, coalescing together an exciting profession with web design, life-coaching, and acting-performance. Additionally a lot of my health and friendships thrived or endured because of great advice from others. However, you may discover, at times, that not listening to others’ advice, holding true to your inner voice, and galvanizing trust in your own actions, can an activate just as much (or more) clarity and confident initiative than following the advice of others!

Here’s my Two cents on why to not accept advice from others as a turn of the tables.

Whether you’re requesting advice on an essay to write, a problem to solve, how to approach it, putting your intention on someone else’s advice or your own has it’s place and time. Here’s 5 great reason why should occasionally avoid the advice of others and how such a practice could benefit you greatly. (I am aware that “not taking advice” is a form of advice!).

Not listening to advice can often increase your Intuitive voice, professionalism, listening and acoustic skills, inner alignment, and conversational selectivity!

--Intuitive. Receiving advice is counter-intuitive to a giving person’s mission and interest in life.  I've written 5 books and have done a tremendous amount of accomplishments that manufacture an uplifting and colorfully effective set of insights to give to people. While receiving insights from others is great, my entire personality, motive, and desire revolves around giving not receiving advice! Do you have a similar “giving first, receiving mindset”? If so, getting advice from others could be counter-intuitive and thus counter-productive to your core values. Not listening to your core values causes your relationships and career success to suffer. It’s best to listen to your own inner message!

--Professionalism. You'll feel more professional listening to your own advice.  Clear and simple.  If someone is constantly giving you advice, it's easy to feel belittled, depressed, or always the passive role of a watcher, learner, or receiver instead of an actor, teacher, or giver..  I'm interested in sharing and helping, not necessarily with "advice" which can be frequently unhelpful from certain people on certain topics, but by eliciting one’s own professionalism and core values.

--Acoustics. You'll listen more intently and comprehensively if you ease off and take a break from requesting advice from others!  I don’t know about your brain, but when I want to be giving advice instead of receiving it, my brain blocks out advice upon hearing it, when you aren’t thinking “I really want to hear what this guy has to say”.  Frequently our mind gets frustrated upon hearing someone else’s opinion being shoved at you. This is not ego, but just your own inner voice trying to have a presence. Led your inner wisdom speak and guide you to your career dreams! The less advice you hear, the more open you’ll be to listening to what non-advice things people have to say! You’ll pay attention more because you won’t be putting up “auditory walls” to what you hear, knowing that the messages others have to say are not advice, but a friendly discussion!

--Alignment. You run the risk of deviating from your own path when you listen to others’ advice.  Others' advice may be great but there's no guarantee that you'll stay true to your own path, maintain your moral and value integrity, and just continue towards what you're heading.  Others advice should acknowledged advice given with a "Thanks" and gratitude, but almost always quickly discard the external advice in one ear and out the other without a thought about it, to ensure you stay true to your path and goals.  Here’s a simple example: a bicyclist tells you to bike more to get in shape, but you're a surfer.  Listening to that advice would derail you from something that provides fulfillment in your life. Or another one: A professional counselor tells you to go to sleep earlier to get out of feeling down in the dumps, but your friend reminded you that when you stay up and talk with people, you frequently feel refreshed and energized the next day! In such a case, listening to the counselor would have derailed you from your life path, but your own inner voice, or your friends suggestion would have brought the most effective results! You risk eclipsing your idenity when you listen to advice given by those far removed from your path. Listen to your own advice and advice closely aligned with your own life path.

--Be selective. Are their any topics that you absolutely will not hear advice on? What are some topics that you absolutely are not open to hearing advice on? Maybe you consider yourself an expert on the topic, or maybe you simply have heard the bulk of the advice that people have to say and hearing “new advice” is just having old trite hackneyed utterances shoved back at you. This depends on the person, but what are some advice topics that definitely do not resonate with you? These could range from romantic relationships, to professional topics, to appearance topics, to scheduling advice topics, and more.

Conclusively, be wary of those who dump their own opinions, views, and perspectives on you in the form of advice! The best advice someone could ever give you is to listen to your own advice! When someone utilizes advanced questioning and elicits your core values and enables you to provide yourself with the advice you need, that’s the best type of advice you could ever receive!

If you want to experience an increase your Intuitive voice, a new-found professionalism, enhanced capacity, inner alignment, greater choice in conversations, maybe should ease up on the advice of others!

I encourage you to look for friends or wise souls who offer this ability of creating your own “intrinsic advice library” through advanced neuro-linguistic questioning! If you can’t find anyone with that skill amongst your peers, feel free to call Validate Your Life coaching at 773.991.6391 or validatelife@gmail.com and set-up a free appointment to elicit the best advice for you -- your own wisdom! http://www.validatelife.com.

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