5 Lessons Learned from Shipping and Selling an item on eBay.

Hello! I just feel angry, financially exploited, and a little upset because I spent $19 sending a 40z ipod through the UPS store and checked the same price and it would have been $4.00 with just general post office. It sold for $21.00 and I recieved $29.99 from the buyer for the entire exchange (including s&h). So despite my reaction to the shipping part, I definitely felt stoked to earn ANY kind of profit ($10 profit is great. > than nothing!) So I AM surprisingly rewarded about that, but have learned some lessons from this happenstance. So, I'm going to present the 5 lessons learned and would appreciate if someone could educate me on how to send things (packages etc) via post office. UPS/fedex etc are all SCAMS omg!! Huge ripoff!!

I have sold a few other things in ebay before, but this time proved to be a valuable learning experience.

1. Always Do it yourself. It's always less expensive and in many ways more rewarding. If If would've printed off the tracking labels myself it would've cost much less.
2. Make sure the profit that you make is worth/commensurate/proportional to the value of amount of time put into earning that profit. I spend 5-6 hours and a good bit of energy selling the ipod item on ebay, communicating with the buyer, posting photos, creating a sell item, sending it, preparing the item for sale. Make sure the profit you will earn is with the effort and time put into making that profit! From a purely economic point of view. The value of the time put into (effort, time, energy, other things you could be doing with your time + the value of the item or service sold) should = (profit!).
3. I will be never using the UPS store again; Post Office shipping is MUCH less expensive!
4. The U.S. is too brash for me, I prefer the European sophisticated experience and ambiance (I've even heard americans remark are French are "nicer" and I asked if that met more kind and they said yes).
5. The different between the post office and UPS is that the post office is MUCH less expensive (I didn't know that)!

634 Contacts! 100% Pure, Premium Concentrated Contacts!

I had 634 which was INSANE. I whittled it down to 514, but still want to edit it and get rid of a lot. Felt awesome to sort through them (all electronic of course, Apple Address Book); if you still use paper non-electronic address books, don't even respond, you're too outdated. Wondered what criteria people use for saving/editing out contacts. I've got work, biz, friend, random project, old new contacts from everything; am structuring it so get the most use though.

I asked around and got answers like 14, 28, 59, and 25. So if the average is 40. I have over 15 times the "average" number of contacts. Hhhmm I am stoked to get my "oktokeep" category down to 200, but even 200 is a ton! It's exciting to have this many, but ideally there's a lot of contacts that resemble doors and projects that I have closed and have moved on from and may want to keep closed so editting those down would be incredibly wise. Additionally, having a more concentrated less diluted (all these contacts are relevant) is opportune and an incredible form of clarity. Additionally it's a matter of ensuring that you maintain awareness of which one's technically (like working phone number and/or email) and emotionally-socially (still relevant and positive in your life and career at the moment and many will NOT be relevant nor compatibile) work and still are compatible.

Looking through your contacts and not having an "baggage contacts" like "oh don't want to contact her...or that project's ended" is ideal to not have negative psychological energy connected up with contacts so sorting them out. Whittling my now 514 down to 200 or less would be incredibly energizing. Additionally

Non-Brand ≠ Bland. Generic Brand or Making your own Stuff Generates Confidence and Soothing Reward.

I'm beginning to see how the working world works. How people invent products that are completely useless, copying various competitor brands, when always the simplest (and cheapest) is always the best. The simple best cheapest products stand out on a store shelf. Example: I went to go pick up dog shampoo. I knew the only thing I need for my awesome dog is 2 bowls (1 for food, 1 for water), huge bag of food, a deshedding brush, and doggie shampoo. SCREW all of those mini expensive toy, chemical, brushy, foofy, petty products; they're ALL scams to make money! And the store-brand (generic) bottle of doggy shampoo is like "glistening" on the shelf, it's by Far the best one!! Largest quantity, cheapest price, vanilla cent, does the EXACT same thing as all the other "designer" (designer dog shampoo OMG!! ffs!) shiny coat, oiled, good dermatologically, etc. The simplest, cheapest, and minimal items are ALWAYS the best. It's so easy to get lost and confused in the world of "brand". Of buying something not for it's purpose nor utility but it's brand. Such a concept is utterly ridiculous to me now! Now, don't get me wrong their are some brands that I use because I invest a lot of time into a certain resource; namely Apple brand computers and mabye Shell gas just because of good experiences from those stations, but other than that, NOTHING else really should be brand-bought! Even food, beverages, household items I always go to the cheapest bulk, "generic" label brands 1)because I don't have the option of affording another kind and 2)because it's Liberating!! To know that I didn't waste money on a packaging configuration of brand letters!! The intent with providing a solid brand is to ensure consistency and reliability, but you know what? The generic simplest naturalist product (be it strawberries or shampoo) is almost always the best, especially if it's something you need that isn't an everyday thing.

So as I passed these rows and rows and rows of trinketty ridiculous pet items, all your canus lupus needs to be happy is good, fun exercise outdoors, social play time with other animals (including homo sapiens), food, water, and staying clean/bathed! But I thought to myself, I could've been one of those people that invented a product and went through the HELL of branding and patenting paperwork and approvals, just to get my mini row of 10 or so identical invention items up on the shelf...NEXT TO 2-10 other types of competitor inventions that emerge with their own marketing advertising, labeling, twist angle just to make money! So I feel galvanized having chosen to just take a deep breath, pass by all that superfluous shit, grab the simplest, cheapest product, and not clutter my life with items that have little bearing on a person. I purchase items for utility (or if it's an investment, to sell later, but that's a different strategy); that makes me feel resourceful!

Purchasing the generic brand encourages creativity and modularity. This may sound ridiculously complex and unnecessarily over-scrutinized, but it's undeniably true! When I purchase generic "no-brand" cereal or vegetables, or rice, for example, I find it joyful to then resourcefully plugin interesting recipes to make that "bland no brand" extremely tasty or resourceful and exciting. It makes you feel self-sufficient to make things, construct things you need (if possible) instead of going to go purchase them. The experience of self-sufficiency of creating what you need if you have the necessary components (some things items like basic food ingredients feel good to purchase) to just make the tool or implement feels extremely rewarding, soothing, and confidence-boosting!

Phone Conversations - The Best Ones and How to End on a High Plateau!

we talked about the like design of our diploma, thomas being a doctor, my awesome NLP stuff I loved, That felt like a REAL conversation. A great and valuable and meaningful conversation, too! Because we talked about something obscure (a lot of my conversations are like my reciting some blog post or future blog post sometimes haha!) the diplomas, thomas being a doctor -- stuff that basically only we could have a conversation a bout, so that made it more fun and rewarding and meaningful too. On that topic, what exactly is qualifications for a "good, rewarding, GREAT phone convo"? Well, I've give this lot of thought. I think the best phone conversations are ones that are unique and highly-specific and maybe even obscure to the people in the conversation. In otherwords, highly relevant somewhat subjective phone calls! Now, I love universals -- universal truths, universal math, universal language, those solid everywhere you go truths, I love! But in phone calls I've spent a lot of time telling, kind of broadcasting, almost to people the same update or current event of my life or inspirational idea. That's GREAT to do for a seminar or for a motivational lifecoaching session because if it what you say is inspiring and great and motivational then more people should hear it! Great!! But for a casual phone conversation...sure it's great to share the inspirational snippet great! But ultimately, I could broadcast an inspirational snippet in a blog or hopefully when I get actual lifecoaching phone sessions going, so for a casual conversation, strangely I feel the most rewarded when we discuss something highly specific and relevant to each other!

I just had a great, great convo with my brother James and we talked about the text-font-design of our college diplomas as well as our younger brother's career path! haha! A very bizarre thing to examine but it was a topic -- a conversational topic -- that only could really exist from the relationship that exists between my brother and I.

For the longest time I erroneously thought the best phone conversation was me broadcast some inspirational lesson or message, and YES, that DOES have a place, if I'm in rapport with an audience or a person who's interested at that time in hearing and experiencing a motivational message, but if it's just a casual conversation, broadcasting a huge motivational message kind of just has a neutral effect and isn't as uplifting as a highly specific person-to-person relevant conversation!! That was very surprising to me!

One of the best things we talked about was how to properly end conversations. I've had tons of people and articles provide advice on the MILLIONS of lines, the script, the dialogue, the words, you can say to end a phone conversation such as...

• "I'm really sorry, but I have to go, it's dinner time. I'll call you tomorrow, OK? (pause) Bye!"
• "Sorry got to go, there's someone at the door, bye"
• "Oh my gosh! [Insert name of pet, younger sibling or child here!] Stop! You're going to kill yourself! Stop! Hold on!" [Hang up] If they call back later or something tell that the pet/ younger sibling/ child almost fell off the counter, or pulled a bookshelf down or something similar, but they ended up OK, despite some bruises and scrapes.
• "Hey, I'm going to have to let you go because I have to get off the phone."
• "Well i must be running up your bill, so Ill let you get on now, take care, bye"
• Blah Blah -- USELESS!

Those words are useless unless you know when you should or want to end a phone call!! My problem was that, frankly, I have all these little projects in my life that I could easily get to but valued phone conversations (I can be a very chatty person at times) and always feared ending a convo that might provide inspiration or interesting discussions. So the solution is WHILE you're talking you think of things on your todo list that you want to get done and then weave those into the conversation and share your excitement about doing this next project and then say so I'm "adios to go do xyz"! So you aren't "ending terminating, severing" the phone call; instead, you're getting stoked, psyched, and sharing your interest in this next project that you have to do (writing a blog entry, taking dog for walk, some appointment, a computer project I'm working on, making done, going to meet a friend) and then telling the person that you'll love to continue talking but are going to do that.

People have all these "lines", "excuses" to say in phone calls and I've experienced people saying those to me and frankly, it kind of bites. It hurts to have someone make up something they have to do to end a phone call. So basically I never gave myself permission to end phone calls, even when I mentioned another project I always "asked" the other person if it was okay for me to go!! I'd say "I'm so psyched about xyz, Isn't that a cool project! Is it okay if I go do that?" haha!! I seriously felt Sooo uncomfortable simply saying I have to go and choosing to end the phone conversation. Like my problem was not not having an awareness of how to end a phone call, but rather, that I never knew when I wanted to or when it was best to do! The key, again, is openness, sharing a project I'm working on and saying I have to get back to that!

I'm a very talkative and happy social person when I'm in the mood but that does not have to coexist with being focused and clear and sharing projects that I'm working on then weaving that into the convo to then launch into that next project or action from the convo. In other words, you shouldn't ever "end-terminate" phone calls with friends (you SHOULD with obnoxious people and I'm quite good at terminating phone calls haha!) But segueing-launching into the next action of your life is what you should do with phone calls with friends. Cool!



eHow suggests:

Use phrases that come at the end of a conversation such as, “it’s been great talking to you” or “thanks for the chat.” This is a subtle way to let the other party know you are trying to wrap up the conversation.

So in other words, ending a conversation is NOT saying no to the person, no to their ideas, nor anything like that! I erroneously assumed that if I ended a conversation, I would be trampling on the person's ideas and essence and personality. I literally ALWAYS waited for the other person to say they had to go. Seriously! Just about every single phone call I was in, I felt like I the other person needed to say they had to go or else I'd terminate the conversation at the wrong time or "illegitamately" which is ridiculous because there's no legitimate or illegitimate phone convos, it's just a chat. The mind maketh good or ill; if someone has to go and someone chooses to interpret that as a disparagement, that's an insecurity problem of THEIRS!! So basically I learned to validate ending phone conversations and the missing element of that for me was NOT learning knew ways to express or communicate saying no.

Instead, the missing link that I needed was that I never knew internally what needed to happen in my mind to validate ending the conversation. I never knew knew when I "should" or even "when I wanted" to end the conversation. When I tried to practice it I said "I'm doing this great awesome project where I scan in photos from experiences in my life and apply this very precise chronological naming system so that I get the things done

101 Ways to Say No -- Very funny!

Changing Your Life Program

Basically what you're going through is changing your life program. Everyone has a life prgram -- a series of steps and procedures, strategies, and environmental cues that make what they do simpler, easier, and feel more productive. I remember doing some work for a comedy club in North Hollywood. I planned to make some calls to invite more people to the club. To do that I had access to the back office which cut through the kitchen, where I could see the chef at work. Now the chef had all of his ingredients laid out. He happily rolled some kind of tortilla while he had multiple burners cooking food. You could tell his life program was comfortable cooking. He could and did crunch out 40-50 full meals that evening and he did it simply, smoothly, and in a way that felt like he was getting stuff done. An hour later after making the calls I watched the comedian on stage. You could tell, by how relaxed he was, but simultaneously confident, and happy he looked on stage making people life with his set material, that he had manufactured a life program that enabled him to feel comfortale on stage telling jokes and making people laugh!

We all have these life programs -- a sequence of steps, procedures, environmental cues, stimuli, and internal responses combined with techniques and strategies -- that make something feel natural, simple productive and exciting! The trick is to learn what makes one life program work and apply those same qualities and strategies to another task (like if the comedian had to work in the kitchen, I'm sure he'd use similar strategies of engaging other chefs to learn what to do or if the chef had to work as a comedian, he may have a procedural approach that he hused preparing meals and dishes to presenting his material!)

If it sounds like you're interested in shifting from a life program of continuing to be able crisply, clearly, and actively provide help to your clients during your business appointments but to additionally add-in the capacity to have that same crisp, clear, focused, helpful problem-solving state where you know what to do and how to do it with your own challenges and tasks for your own personal (organizing, earning, and building muscle health) life, send us an email! We're here to help install that change!

Thanks again. We look forward to doing a Great doing the lifecoaching session with you.

http://www.validatelife.com is a blog site
http://validatelife.blogspot.com/search?q=pop is a link that goes to a series of organizational articles, but most of them are for computer data.

and
http://www.destinationescapade.com is the lifecoaching site.

I'm working on combining all those sites into one.

I'd sincerely appreciate if you'd recommend me to any friends that have an interest in life-coaching and/or improving the quality of their life, health, relationships or organization! I'm still doing free lifecoaching sessions (with NLP) and plan on trying to accumulate as many of those experiences before hopefully doing the inexpensive $59/3 1 hour sessions. Thanks again!

Sincerely,
John

Getting And Staying Organized with UMSD

Basically this specific part is messy and infected with a lot of David Allen's GTD muck. Frankly GTD is too bloated of an organizational system; you take on a lot of crap you don't need if you use it. It has some great concepts but as a whole the system sucks. So I'm on the process of writing up details of my own system. For computers, it basically uses all online documents, almost all documents on hard drives are backups. It consolidates consolidates consolidates!! All like files. It gets all your outcome project files in one spot. My system really works, and it goes where GTD failed to go and takes you to place where you end up just jotting stuff down you need to do and doing it instead of all this WF, M-S (when the frickin hell am I ever going to look at a maybe-someday list to see what I maybe someday will do? That list is a bunch of crap), crap it just has a simple todos projects and you don't need seperate folders for project,s that's like kids r' us. I have one online file accessible from my phone, laptop, or desktoop that has things to do and if it's complex, an outline of how to accomplish it all in THE SAME ONE FILE. The file is organized into "computer" "videos" "books" projects because all outside tasks I keep on a ZenBe lists. So yeah, basically what i wrote last year is practically 80% obsolete and the new organizational system is much clearer, sharper, and most important -- SIMPLER!

NLP Calibration!

Body language can never lie; words and statements, however, can. Learning to calibrate increases your ability to know what a person is feeling. This becomes extremely potent when trying to eliminate confusion in communication and also to avoid getting deluded with words.

State Calibration is just "indicators" of a person's state. When the red light is on on the oven, it mean it's heating up. When you've calibrated a person, you can know that a specific person a brow furrowed, right eye squinted and hunched means they're perplexed. Therefore the "brow furrowed, right eye squinted and hunched" state is like the red light on the oven; both the red oven light and the furrowed brow, squint, and hunch serve as indicators for what's going on "inside".

How do you calibrate a state? When you see a person having a unique body posture, or movement, you ask them what they feel, and if they respond, you'll know that that specific external body language, posture, breathing, and the like corresponds to their state! ANY time you see them with "brow furrowed, right eye squinted and hunched, ask them what they're feeling. If they respond, you've just successfully calibrated their state! Now whenever you see that external body languae, you will understand that for that person it calibrates to "perplexed".

A green light on the oven could mean, "cleaning mode", just as someone who's in a state where their breathing is steady, chest out, and smiling, and you ask them what they feel they'll say "happy" you've calibrated that "breathing is steady, chest out, and smiling" to mean happy for THEM. So to that specific person, just as the green light means "cleaning mode", "breathing steady, chest out, and smiling" means "feeling happy". Now, "breathing is steady, chest out, and smiling" does not mean happy for every person; just that specific person. To continue the analogy to now an absurd level of metaphor (LOL!) everyone's "oven" is built different with different indicator lights. The oven lights are just a metaphor for "external indicator" that calibrates to an "internal state".

So why is this useful? State Callibration has millions of applications, but we can focus on two: dissolving confusion and persuasion. Having calibrated a state is obviously clarifying because it decreases confusion from ALL of these external states and configurations of body posture, breathing cadence, brow, voice tone, etc, because now you know, after calibrating, those are indicators of internal states. If you ask them what they're feeling (so you don't fall into the trap of mind reading) and they answer with a response of their internal state, you have just calibrated their external sensory indicators to their internal state! Congrats!! Successful calibration!

Now let's examine the persuasive benefits of State Calibration. Let's say you've calibrated a state when you notice a person has "dilated pupils, slumped shoulders, and tapping feet". What state does that calibrate to? Well you ask them and they respond, "Interested. I feel interested right now." Excellent! Now you know that whenever that person displays that "dilated pupils, slumped shoulders, and tapping feet" external behavior, then you know they're interested. Why would knowing their internal state be so persuasively valuable? Let's say you're offering this person a sale and he suddenly pops into his "interested state" but SAYS "The price is too high; I don't have my heart set on the product." If you hadn't calibrated, you might've sold the product to him for a lower price. However, the calibration master would demand the sale as is or even increase the price! Why? Because the person who has calibrated already knows that this person is clearly interested.

Additionally, you can know when you've sucessfully put someone into a state. What if you've calibrated a woman to "aroused" or a prospective client to "attentive and eager". You know when your communication is successful because you have those calibration "lights" that flick on revealign to you that your communication is effective! All the best communicators and the most persuasive people utilize state calibration because everyone needs "checks and indicators" for if what they're communicating is working or not! You need feedback for what and how you communicate and all the lights start flashing and you can learn to read a person "like an oven" ;) with effective state callibration!


Some EXCELLENT Links on Callibration
http://www.howtomasternlp.com/2008/05/26/forget-mind-reading-calibrate-instead/

Suits

Here's my view on suits. It's different. the whole double-breasted thing seems cheesy. Really REALLY expensive suits seem extremely cheesy. I don't mind wearing them. If people would look at me and see me as professional-looking in athletic clothes as suits, I wouldn't wear suits! I really like my cheapo $120 suit. However, these really expensive ones, look fantastic on me, and people may look at me more professionally. So I totally don't care they're that expensive and almost makes me a bit nervous taht they're that expensive (I can still "have fun" in them and forget how expensive they are!! cool!!) I love the light ones -- beige (by the way, was that other one you mentioned a lighter beige one?). But i'm grateful I have them to experiment with to see if I need them or not; if I ever get a job where wearing a suit could increase the quality of the job, then YES YES YES these are great!! But if I don't have such a job, they sorta seem silly hehe. see what I'm saying? I'm not impressed by suits. But if other people are and if it will boost a potential career somehow..then so be it, great I won't mind wearing them if it boosts career!!. So thanks again!!