EDRT Advice

20th Century, Irish Playwright, Brendan Francis, said it perfectly:

"People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly."

"The advice you deliver to others, frequently gets rerouted to end up on your front porch" (we can call that phenomenon, "externally-directed, but reflectively-targeted advice (or EDRT advice) because it is advice that we externally direct to help an external person, but that advice frequently reflects back to targeting us...okay, this stuff is definitely going in my next book;). So....a perfect-- and life-changingly potent -- example of my EDRT advice (or ERDTA) happened in the summer of 2000 in this life-changing, motivational Teenfreedom class. The facilitator of the class said a lot of wild zany things -- talking about "being exactly like your parents, or exactly the opposite of them", being on the "right side of the tracks", something about tom cruise and tattoos, etc. I didn't say much the entire class, but when I did speak, I delivered the advice (the EDRTA) of "You should empty your cup...totally". I told the group leader to "empty his cup" -- Zen Buddhism for clear your mind, flush out your habits to find some inner peace and clarity so you can then fill your existence with "quality things". Guess who "emptied his cup"? Moi. Of course. The EDRT advice kicks back at you! A month later I threw out my bed, my box spring, many of my books, much of the furniture in my room, and began intense art therapy painting of furniture. For the next two years, I wrote prolific poetry and years after that I wrote 2-3 ebooks. I -- ME -- received the advice to empty my cup!!

Okay, I really like that. That makes a lot of sense. So a person sharing their advice is a form of "self-therapy" for them (I subconsciously "knew" that, but never fully acknowledged the intrinsic veracity of other people's advice really being -- almost ALWAYS -- advice they give to themselves). In many ways, you can effectively help others -- that whole "help me, help you" jerry McGuire thing -- help themselves by letting them speak and have a voice to their own advice. Letting them have "their say" -- even if it is advice directed toward you -- helps them discover what they need. The advice they give "you" is really almost through some psychological "rerouting" targeting "them" most effectively! (If that's the case, I'm giving myself a lot of advice!

So the existence of EDRTA is not only present, but incredibly real and effective. My -- provocative -- question, then, is this, if offering advice to another, (through the EDRT effect) ends up helping you, giving you advice (that's fact, now, not myth) then to actually help another would you give yourself advice?

What examples do you all have of EDRTA playing out in your life?