Keep up with VYL's Updates

9.24.2007

Sprinkle People

I like to include everything in a single email, but wanted to add this:
I am definitely the "imprisoned celebrity", "land-locked-soulseeker" , now.


There is a key and completely essential distinguishing characteristic between financial currency and spiritual currency: you survive with financial currency, but you truly live with spiritual currency. This is not saying to discard financial currency because clearly, without basic survival needs you would be suffering. But so few people ever actually truly live - live their dreams, access their potential, and enjoy the articulation of their talents. A psychologist Maslow came up with the idea of self-realization, realizing your highest potential. In his analysis he defined things called D-needs, or deficit needs, that were basic buildings blocks need to construct a platform from which you could start your self-actualization process. The basic physiological health (food, nutrition, sleep, 98.6°F body temp.), only get you to the starting point from which you can start the self-realization process. To plug in financial currency and spiritual currency, you need financial currency to fulfill those deficit needs - the basic survival needs - so that you arrive at the oasis of self-realizations from which you can use spiritual currency to truly access and activate your dreams. To use an example, if the exploration of outer space our galaxy, solar system, and universe is truly living your life and discovering your dreams, which you do with spiritual currency, then breaking the surface of the earth's atmosphere is the purpose and the limit of financial currency.
But that's precisely the problem and the benefit of spiritual currency. So few people make it to the surface - fully satisfy all their deficit needs - and what's worse is that those few who are fully "surviving" - that is have all their basic necessities - rarely even consider trying to pursue the dreams with spiritual currency. Or the reverse happens, someone is adamant about spending spiritual currency, but they lack the survival necessities to break the surface. If they had enough financial currency to generate the necessary survival needs (food, health, loved ones, shelter, etc.), their mastery of spiritual currency would propel them far into uncharted "depths of their galaxy of dreams and potential". The person who grasps financial currency but either neglects, is unaware, or simply is afraid or lazy of exploring life and using spiritual currency is the "Comfortable Obdurate". That person is stubbornly only comfortable with their basic survival needs. The person who has the mastery, motivation, courage, and knowledge of spiritual energy to truly realize his or her dreams but lacks the financial currency understanding or resources to get to the plateau of self-realization, is the "Land-locked soul-seeker" or the "Imprisoned Celebrity". This person seeks his soul but is land-locked by absence of financial currency awareness, or the person has the aspirations and dreams and no how to truly spiritually aligned and even famous, but they are imprisoned by their lack of financial currency and survival needs. This person is going incessantly going spiritually 60 mph in neutral.
The mastery of financial currency and awareness, courage, and knowledge of spiritual currency is the key to success in life. Those two "economies" are massive concepts, but comprehending and fulfilling them is, most certainly the simplest way to life fully. Understand and master those two areas and you will not only be successful to the world, but successful to yourself because your accomplishments will generate so much personal satisfaction, compassion, joy, sense of achievement, and happiness having grown from your creative, rich essence.



Another interesting realization I've had is that relationships are NEVER black-and-white, they're all grey area. Women are attracted to strong men, but then like to control them to assert their feminine power, but then are no longer attracted to them if they succeed in the satisfying display of feminine power. Or, some men are attracted to manipulative women, but then are simultaneously confused and repulsed by her trickery. That's all grey area. I think it's important to look at ALL relationships, because of the inherent grey area, as "no big deal". Anytime you try to stamp black-and-white confienements, or demands, or rules, or contracts on a human relationship you either restrict humanity or set yourself up for a whole hellish heap of confusion and shattered hopes. That's why relationships should be fun and nothing more. They must not be "vessels" of hope, nor time-vaults for safe-keeping. I know many people who've invested their valuable time (and money) in relationships expecting the relationship to "keep it safe". Ha! Then the "relationship" runs off with another partner or splurges on an expensive car. Relationships are fun trifles and should be treates as thus and nothing more. "Only you can create peace with the triumph of principles," writes Emerson. I'm finally understanding that. You have to invest in YOU, in your principles, in your beliefs, and make that the first and foremost thing in life. Then relationships are the sprinkles on top.

I, like many others, have made the blunderingly difficult and stupid maneuver, of treating relationships like the epicenter of my life' focus. Treating a relationship like its the keystone of your life is like trying to build a bridge on quicksand, or about as intelligent as taking your wieght only after thanskgiving or after running a marathon -- you set yourself up for inaccuracy and work from inherently shaky ground. The keystone of your life (if such a thing exists, which it doesn't) must revolve around you. The only ground you control is your own, the terrain of your own principles, so, therefore, yourself is the only "building place" worthy of utilizing as a foundation. Any other resource -- a relationship, a friendship, a business connection, involves someone else's principles, someone else's unpredictability, and, therefore, those "foundations" are plausible unstable. Again, the only foundation is yourself. Business affiliates, relationships, even intimate lovers are all sprinkles in life.

What happens when we externally cling and grasp and turn relationships into keystones?
We downward spiral. A relationship hits a bump and we scream out in the night, ask "why me?" constantly, pray to God for faith, and bathe in a murky, dark, illusion called self-denial. In denying our downward spiral, we grasp on to more relationships, beckoning out to more people, until you become a hideous parasite; a leech that repulses people, but simultaneously deeply (erreneously) believes he "needs" people in some way. In short, when we grasp and treat relationships as keystones in our life, we become a decrepid, hollow, dissatisfied sham. Worse, people recognize you as nothing but a sham, a superficial loser. After all, you jump from relationship to relationship, never fulfilled, always needing more. Grasping to relationships and making people to be anything more than sprinkles spells disaster and ruin and a dash of humilation. You don't want to do that. Don't have feel affected by or attached to people. Ever.

What happens when we treat others simply as sprinkles in life?
Our life flows. People cease to present themselves as obtacles and have so little impact on us, that we "choose" how to interpret their impact. You can't even taste the flavor of a sprinkle, but we always "choose" to interpret the sprinkle as a positive addition to the cake-eating experience. The same will be true of people in life. They'll be like the tasteless sprinkles, a great bonus, but utterly something negligible. People will gape in awe at your confidence and seeming indifference to their company. This functions as a demonstration of higher social value. Women are biologically wired to seek out men with a higher social value to ensure the survival of her young. That's unconscious programming working with you. Men will recognize your confidence and ease in life and look to you as a leader. After all, if you act so fulfilled and confident, you must "know something". But you mustn't lead and you mustn't cling to any of the many women that present themselves to you. Again, always treat people as sprinkles. Have sexual relationships with women -- some of the best. Have business relationships that feel the most rewarding, but never cling.

Examples of this in real life.
Watch some old westerns. What key characteristic do you notice of the protagonist -- the cool cowboy hero? Is he running around clinging, screaming about things he needs? No. He's always the guy, perfectly calm, perfectly content. The hero treats people like sprinkles, with negligence; the hero believes in himself and no one else; the hero survives because of those principles. Here's a GREAT explanation. Treating people like sprinkles shows indifference and most importantly the absence of neediness from others. People with higher social value don't need things from others because they already have things, so acting not needy (or like people are sprinkles) is a demonstration of higher ocial value. Even of you dont' HAVE higher social value (if you actually DO need things from people), treating people like sprinkles, and, thus, conveying a DHV will cause people to look to you as the person with the higher social value and will treat you like that. They'll present opportunities to you because, (after all you conveyed the genuine DHV!) seem to have access to the resources for their neediness. I really spelled it out there: but in short, People are sprinkles ---> ----> Shows absence of neediness ----> DHV ----> People present opportunities to you because of your apparent DHV.

So all you have to worry about. The only tricky part is maintaing the sprinkle principle WHILE taking the good opportunities and/or relationships without clinging. Read The Alchemist and you'll know what I mean when I say, such an act is like seeing the beauties of the city without spilling a drop of the oil in the spoon. You, obviously can only make two errors with these opportunities. You 1)relinquish your negligence, become like a kid in a candy shop, and your DHV plummets and you lose the opportunities or 2) you keep the negligence, but it's too icy so you never take nor profit from any opportunities. If you don't ever do any of those faux pas, and keep the people-negligence attitude, you're guaranteed success...more accurantely, you're biologically WIRED for success!

This theory operates in congruence with our intrinsic biological survival patterns. In primitive days, women mated with those who had higher social value to ensure the survival of her kids (it's a 9-month time investment for each for her, remember -- she biologically has to choose wisely). Additionally, men hunted and gethered with those with higher social value to ensure their own survival. Treating people like sprinkles, ups your value in both the survival and replication goals of life!

9.13.2007

The Cat Vet

Cat Vocalizations
Caring for your cat with a Flowchart so it gets the attention it needs and you care for it without feeling over-worked.
Okay, Cats have 7 -- yes, count them, seven -- primary vocalizations. First, there exists what I refer to as the 2 "okay" vocalizations -- purring and happy meowing, 1 sign of interest, the most bizarre chattering, chirruping sound, and then 4 vocalizations of necessity -- meowing or screeching in distress, protest, frustration, and for attention. You can really clump the cat's vocalizations into two groups of 2 and 5 different effects, too. The purring and chirruping and then the five types of "meows" -- four of which imply necessity, 1 implies happiness and agreeability. Purring sounds like the most jaded two-sided vocalization because purring typically means great satisfaction (like when being petted or eating) or in the midst of great pain (like with an injury).

So the best way to auditorially "decipher" your cat you should just set up a nested if-else statement as follows:


if (cat meows)
{
if (rises and falls)
The cat feels Happy;
Good job. Don't worry about the cat.
else-if (aversion meows)
{
do
Identify the aversion meow as frustration, protest, or distress.
{
if (sigh or snort)
With sound occurs with motions of necessity (beckoning to be let out, lurking around bowl)
The cat feels Frustration;
Help the cat achieve the goal such as overcoming loneliness, hunger, or boredom or distract the cat from that goal;
else-if (whine or hiss)
The cat Protests something;
Look at the water-bowel, over-petting, some other obstacle or action that could irritate the cat;
else-if (high-pitched shrieking loud and frantic)
The cat feels Distress;
Extricate the cat from the distressing situation;
var loopcount=-1
loopcount++
if (loop count >2) break;
}
while (cat emits aversion sounds)
else-if(short)
With intrusive behavior (jumping around you)
The cat seeks Attention and/or Greets you;
Pet, welcome, and play with the cat;
else-if (cat purrs)
while (!(cat purrs && doesn't gravitate to you))
{
if (cat shows disfigurement and/or signs of suffering)
The cat feels pain;
Help heal the cat;
else
The cat welcomes and greets you;
Pet and "say hello" to the cat;
var loopcount=-1
loopcount++
if (loop count >2) break;
}
The cat feels content || you have checked it 3 times and given it adequate time;
else-if (cat chirrups or chatters)
The cat holds interest in something.
Investigate in what the cat finds interesting to learn about your cat's fascinations.
}



With that flow diagram, you can quickly decipher exactly what you cat "feels" from what she vocalizes to you and respond accordingly.

Examples: If you identify the cat as feeling distressed, look at the environment. Is she snagged on something? Is she locked in a room? Or if you identify the cat seeks attention, pet it, play with it, etc. If the cat gives vocalizations of frustration, you could help it reach the toy that it keeps chasing after or if it

Purring has the most diverse meaning because it can signify pain, pleasure, or greeting. Generally, the purr indicates a positive feeling in the cat.

In reference to the pain purring, I had a very strange thing occur one time with a kitten. The kitten had a collar on and when I checked in on it, it had removed the collar some how. I could only assume that it had jammed on something and come undone. Apparently in that process it sounded like it damaged its vocal chords and excessively “purred” (likely the painful kind) after the incident. ). If a cat gets an internal injury that results in a constant purr-pain state, you should just return it or vet it.

The protest (whine), frustration (snort or sigh), and distress (ear-piercingly shrill meow) are in the same group, but the distress meow, usually is the only thing you can directly do something about. If the cat gets immersed in water or touches a hot stove or catches its paw in something, expect the distress meow. Distress meows can usually, fortunately, be resolved most quickly. Many times, you'll have to ignore the frustration or protest meow because identifying its cause may be too vague. For example, the cat could see some other cat walk outside and whine-meow in protest of not being able to chase after it and then snort in frustration and you may not have even seen the other cat, so determining the source of its protest may be impossible in such a situation. Generally, a protest is a lighter form of a distress, and a frustration is a lighter form of a protest.

So you could plug in a separate do-while loop check to see if it vocalizes aversion sounds like this

do
Identify the aversion meow as frustration, protest, or distress.
{
if (sigh or snort)
With sound occurs with motions of necessity (beckoning to be let out, lurking around bowl)
The cat feels Frustration;
Help the cat achieve the goal such as overcoming loneliness, hunger, or boredom or distract the cat from that goal;
else-if (whine or hiss)
The cat Protests something;
Look at the water-bowel, over-petting, some other obstacle or action that could irritate the cat;
else-if (high-pitched shrieking loud and frantic)
The cat feels Distress;
Extricate the cat from the distressing situation;
var loopcount=-1
loopcount++
if (loop count >2) break;
}
while (cat emits aversion sounds)

The above loop ensures that you will try to help the cat if it displays frustration, protest, or distress, but you won't spend your entire life helping the cat because the loop breaks after three loops, ensuring that you will have given the cat MORE than adequate amount of attention, affection, and your efforts to heal and/or help it. This may seem like overly-simplified labeling but it's either that or becoming confused and then frustrated yourself. Two animals frustrated is worse of than one; so label, label, label away and run the do-while loop!

Then you're only left with the attention (short) and happy (rise and fall) meows, which are easy to identify.

The purring has this while loop.

else-if (cat purrs)
while (!(cat purrs && doesn't gravitate to you))
{
if (cat shows disfigurement and/or signs of suffering)
The cat feels pain;
Help heal the cat;
else
The cat welcomes and greets you;
Pet and "say hello" to the cat;
var loopcount=-1
loopcount++
if (loop count >2) break;
}
The cat feels content you have checked it 3 times and given it adequate time;

This loop will first check to see if the cat purrs with the presence of visible signs of pain or excessive gravitation to you. In short, this checks to see if the cat is in pain or seeks attention and greeting first, if those are not met, the loop breaks we know the cat feels content. Otherwise, we enter the loop and check to see if it shows signs of suffering, and to remedy that, if not, we can assume that it just is greeting you and seeks attention with its purring. Like the other loop, this loop breaks after three counts to ensure you don't spend your entire time being controlled by your cat's purring, but gives the cat adequate caring.

So to be organized with this. The cat has three aversion meows

Frustration
Protest
Distress

If you don't hear those, you're generally safe to assume that the cat feels "okay" about things. Otherwise any other meows are attention-seeking, greeting, or happiness meows and we'll assume that. So if the cat meows and it isn't an aversion meow, you can assume it's either seeking attention, happy, or greeting you. If it purrs, it could feel pain, pleasure, or greet you; respond accordingly.

The greeting vocalization is the only emotion that has a purr and the attention-seeking-greeting meow.

Conclusively, the entire loop has a three step initial if-statement. You just check to see if the cat meows, purrs, or chatters, and then follow into the nested statements with whichever of those conditions occurs. Within the meowing if-statement, you have to there exists three main conditions, too, the happy meow, aversion meows (which, in turn, have three sub-categories based on the do-while check), and the attention-seeking-greeting meow.

If the vocalization branches into the purring, purrs only have three meanings: pleasure, pain, or the seeking-greeting meow behavior.

Finally, if the cat chatters, this means one thing: she has an interest in something! This generally mimics the cat death-bite used to kill small prey like birds, rodents, or chipmunks in the wild. If the cat sees one of those animals (like out the window), it may simply get excited and use the chattering sound!

Claws
The best way to deal with cat claws is to cap them or clip them yourself.

Kneading
Kneading feels very pleasurable for cats. This sounds strange to use because usually the animal being kneaded (massaged) gets the pleasure, but kneading brings back memories of the cat’s early kitten days when it kneaded its mother’s nipples for milk. This sounds very strange, but sometimes, kneading produces an orgasmic like effect for the cat! In short, kneading pleases cats greatly.

Playing
I want to play with my cats -- big time. It should feel like a fun experience to have them solve problems. Many times cats will dive bomb your feet as you walk by, too. This again, simply indicates that the cat wants to play and may feel bored. With adequate cat furniture, toys, or other cats for stimulation, the cat may not dive-bomb your legs anymore. Another maneuver, typically indicative of a bored cat who wants to play, in addition to the ankle dive-bomb is the ambush, where the cat will pounce on your as you enter its “domain” area. This simply shows boredom and eagerness to play and does not indicate a lack of trust of you in its lair or anything else.

Food
I definitely don’t’ want a Garfield fat cat (although I wouldn’t mind a cat with Garfield’s cool, witty personality), but a skeleton cat doesn’t sound healthy either. A skinny, agile cat makes the best companion

Marking
Okay, there exist two kinds of marking territory – the good kind and the bad kind. The bad kind is spraying, urinating on areas. This generally represents a problem with the cat. The cat may feel intimidated by something – like another cat it sees – or just may feel uncomfortable with a certain environmental variable. The spraying marking is a protest and indication of frustration with the cat. You should treat the second kind of marking as a compliment! Cats have special facial glands under their chin and on their face that release hormones when rubbed. If you cat rubs its face on your feet or some similar gesture, this means it’s “marking you” with those facial pheromones, claiming you as his – a great compliment, indeed!

Water
If you want to go extra fancy, running the cat’s water through a filter to purify it might make it healthier; plus cats don’t drink tons of water anyways. This sounds surprising considering that they are obligate carnivores, meaning they eat meat and only meat. Meat generally tastes salty, so the fact that they don’t drink a ton of water may come as a shock, but it’s still good to know that purification could make a good alternative to just general tap water.

Play Behavior
Animals are all about love (licking, petting, purring!). While this may get annoying after awhile, I think humans -- cnn, etc. -- have lost that tendency for love because they don't galvanize their compassionate reservoir.

Discipline
Disciplining and training the cat can be a complicated, complex, demanding task, at times . For example, if your cat pees on the carpet and you say “No” loudly and throw it in the litter box, it may then “learn” through operant conditioning not to not pee on the carpet, but that the litter box means pain and is “wrong”! So if you cat bites you, try to just blow in its face and maybe reinforce this by saying “no”, but always substitute the biting with a straw or some other “teething-approved” item. The key with training the cat revolves around knowing that you can’t change the cat’ behavior, generally. Substituting the maladaptive behavior with approved behavior is the best thing to do. For example, if the cat constantly tackles you, let it keep tackling, but get it to tackle with a toy or another cat. Bottom-line: you cannot discipline a cat like you discipline a dog or any other animal. Cats exist in their own world. They don’t see a swat on the nose as “disciplining”; they may see it as an instigation to play and become more aggressive, or consider to as play, or they will “stop doing” a different thing. The best way to discipline your cat is through substituting the “disruptive habits” with good toys or play zones.

Here's another great link on vocalizations.

Fun cat factoids:
  • A cat can recognize its owner's footsteps from hundreds of feet away.
  • A cat's meal is the equivalent of 5 mice.
  • A cat can jump up to 7 times its height (tigers can jump as high as 16 feet or as far as 33 feet).
  • Cats can recognize their owner's footsteps up to 100 feet away.
  • Compared to the dog's 10 vocalizations, cats have access to about 90 different types of vocalizations.
  • Some mythology believes cats are exalted, all-knowing souls but are left "mute" and thus can't influence human decisions.
  • Body temperature of cats is about 4 degrees hotter (102) and their heart beats about 100 times faster (around 160 bpm)
  • Cats and dogs are digitigrades; they walk directly on their toes.
  • Cats directly register when walking, meaning their hind legs step in the footprints of the forelegs, minimizing noise and tracks.

9.10.2007

Interview Essentials

I made up this mnemonic for remembering four essential interview characteristics: SCAP.

Smile.
Company -- research it and know it.
Appearance -- look good; dress fittingly, which usually means atleast tie, possibly suit.
Punctuality.

9.05.2007

Morphing Professionalism and Do-It-Yourself

Today has transformed itself into a bit – quite a bit – of a writing/email day and if I catch your response at another time, it may not "be a writing day" so might as well write this now. I get a lot of emails from old professors, old friends, various net forums, applications, job contacts, relatives, blog contacts – sometimes it's just hundreds of emails!!

I realized some of the things I try to do (like building a web page for the web design and the lifecoaching ideas) most other entrepreneurs simply DELEGATE to other people by hiring a web-designer to create the web page or the hire a marketer to post flyers or some other marketing equivalent. I can't afford to hire a third-party contractor so I just have to put enormous amounts of time and energy into learning how to do what that other third-party contractor person would otherwise do. This has provided an incredibly useful scope of how money works. Almost anything you can pay someone to do (whether it be fixing a computer, building an annex to a house, or even designing a surfboard) you, technically (with a few exceptions) could learn and read how to do that yourself and accomplish that task with relatively inexpensive resources. Some tasks, obviously, would requires years of training (like designing and shaping a surfboard out of fiberglass, which is an example of something that you'd probably be better off just purchasing), and time, which is why so many people simple hire others instead of the do-it-yourself approach which I have undertaken. But nevertheless, I have a fascination with the realization that you can do most anything on your own given enough time, determination, and knowledge.

That said, I've realized it takes awhile to "shift into those other design modes", meaning, I can't work on a web page one day, and then try to focus in on marketing the next day because those "transformations" require you to take on the roles of almost two totally different people. I've realized that those projects take time to shift out of or into. In other words, if all you do is web design, or sell color-sorting manufacturing machinery, or something, it's simply to consistently do that because you get into the knowledge groove, but it takes a lot of time to fully do one thing and then morph into another professional zone that encompasses and entirely different knowledge-base. Conclusively, things will feel much simpler and easier when I have a single profession and don't have to keep shifting into the role of a "web designer" or "job seeker" or "marketer", etc.

William Wallace Incorporated

Of course, this has a bit of a humorous tone to it, but wouldn't it be incredibly nifty to have someone like William Wallace around? I mean, man, I could really use this face-painted, clamor-wielding kilt-wearing inspirational freak around when people try to steal, subdue, or bury my freedom. It would feel VERY useful to be able to give old' Willy a call if, say, your boss made you work longer hours or you "had" to go to that wedding instead of having your time to do your thang. Motivational books, seminars, and reminders fall into one category, but I couldn't imagine how different my life would be right now if I had a William Wallace character around reminding me to fight for freedom and the things that mattered, pushing yourself, your goal, your energy, and your outcome just a bit further to reap the rewards of success.

How hilariously nifty would that be to have access to some kind of 1-800-GOWILLY Hotline; dial and you here this Scottish voice on the other end telling you to fight for your freedom!

Somewhat in accordance fighting for freedom is examining illusion and reality...
So I've been watching entourage. I like that show. A lot. It makes me feel excited about being "part" (even though I'm just watchign it as some random viewer and would MUCH prefer to have more involvement) of something I like and for which I have an interest. The moves, the acting, the scripts, the whole production mechanism, directing, everything. but then I think, wait, I shouldn't get swept up because it's just an illusion, it doesn't exist. True, it IS just an illusion, but taht illusion makes me excited and excitement is good. So the question remains, should we just ride the illusion? But believing only illusion results in insanity and psychosis. What if we could just get the benefits of excitement from illusion, while keeping this small psychological subconscious check on that excitement, knowing that it stems from illusion and is not reality, but always safely feeling that excitement. That's the solution, keep that "subconscious asterix" next to those exciting illusions (so you don't break off into psychosis), but then totally ride out and explore and feel out that illusion! It's either that or saying "that's not real" to ANYTHING that makes you feel excited and being "Mr. Reality Boy", but having depression and no zeal in your life. Conclusively, everything commences as an illusion, you can say every dream, every idea -- from Einstein's relativity, to Edison's lightbulb, to book ideas, to films all originate from "illusion". Those illusions just mentioned all became reality. Those inventors, authors, or movie stars rode out that illusion and no one calls General Relativity, the lighbulb, or Braveheart "illusion" today. We fully accept those as reality, but they originated as illusion. Ride out the illusion, friend, to reach exceptionally clever and successful realities.

Religion and Politics, Minus the Politics

Although admittedly it was a bit of an intellectual jolt at times, I remember taking a "Religion and Politics" class in college and although the professor had a great and unique teaching style, and presented interesting content, I couldn't stop from thinking, in hindsight, that the Religion and Politics class felt much more political than religious, even though it definitely provided some valuable insights. I, for example, had never really read anything by St. Thomas Aquinas prior to this class, so I learned a lot of new material, but the inextricably intertwined nature of some politics with some religions became apparent, even though that wasn't a specific message of the class.

A baby-boomer friend with whom I've brainstormed a great deal, and I reflected that a "religion has a lot of politics in it", and to get to the "real core of religion" you have to subscribe to the meditation, spirituality,and faith aspects to it. With the tenets, dogma, commandments, even "noble truths" of various world religions, just seem like formatting and compartmentalizing politics, which, of course, as a purpose, but that raw faith and inspiration often attributed to religion, seems to in reality derive from a very different source: passion, love, emotions, something more visceral, something less tangible, more alive, and less containable.

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